First,
formatting is your friend! Bolding/italicizing/underlining your categories and titles (ie "Name," "History," "Personality," etc...) will make reading your biography sooooo much easier on the Staff, and thus get you approved faster.
So now that we have that established, we'll start from the top. Please note, while some of the things I say about your biography might sound harsh, I only have your best interest in mind. All if it is for your benefit, so that your biography can be approved by the Staff easily with little to no issues.
For the purpose of making your biography more thorough in the end, I am going to go through it using the set-up that our more experienced members use.
Name: What is your character's family name (last name)? Or do they just not know it? If that's the case, then make sure to state the reason why somwhere else in your bio...like your history. If the problem is that you're having trouble finding a last name for your character,
this is a good place to look for one. Just make sure to check that you're not using a name already in use by another character on the boards. Also, keep in mind Japanese name order, which is putting the last name before the first name.
Village: What village is your character from? Please see the OoC Boards for Villages that are open.
Age: This is fine.
Birthday: Really not important, but it's just a fun, random little thing to have.
Rank: This is not, considering your character's age. A 14-year-old Jounin is in no way realistic. A Chuunin perhaps, and a genin for sure, but most certainly not a Jounin.
Bloodtype: A, B, AB, or O? Again, another optional statistic, but a lot of members tend to add it in there.
Gender: This is a given. Is your character male or female?
Chakra Affinity: What is your character's chakra affinity? Please, don't make one up; stick to the five standard types.
AppearanceHeight: Pretty self-explanatory.
Weight: Again, pretty self-explanatory.
Hair: What color is it?
Eyes: What color are they?
Physical Description: This is where you describe what your character looks like as a whole. How long is their hair? Is it styled a particular way? What color is their skin? What is their body type? What do they usually wear? Do they have any distinct characteristics like piercings, scars, or tattoos? Where do they where their forehead protector (if they have it)? Those are just some things to think about when writing about your character's appearance. Note, they don't have to have all of the things I mentioned (like piercings, scars, and tattoos); sometimes its better for your character to be a bit on the plain side.
**Using
just a picture to describe your character is not enough. We want to see a written description, too!
Personality: We don't want to see just a list of personality traits, as that has no depth whatsoever. Please write atleast a paragraph explaining your character's personality.
Likes: Listing is ok for this category...
Dislikes: and this one as well.
Family: All of this is optional, though it helps give depth to your character.
~Father:~Mother:~Siblings:~Other:History: Finally, the history. This is probably the most important of a character's biography, and most definitely the part of
your current biography that needs work. Of course, the length and content of your character's history is dependant on their age (and sometimes rank). You seem to have a bit of an idea as to where you want your character's history to be, however, I must tell you, having a character that has no friends, no family, and keeps everything to themselves is plain, unoriginal, and to be quite honest, extremely boring. EVERYONE creates characters like this, and as a result, it gets old very fast. No one likes a character that keeps to themselves all the time. This is an
interactive fanfiction, thus your character needs to interact with other characters to get anywhere. Otherwise, you will be bored out of your mind with no one to talk to.
If you just
have to have it that your character's parents died when he was young, you really need to think about how that affected your character. You say that he has no one to take care of him... what about grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins? Or did they all die, too? If this is the case, you better have a very,
very good explanation as to why/how they died. Anything similar to: "His entire clan was killed by a rogue shinobi right before his eyes" isn't going to fly. Sorry.
As for your character challenging their sensei to a duel... it's a good idea, and I really think you could go somewhere with it. However, it is going to take some work. What caused him to want to fight with his sensei? Why did he feel the need to boast about himself all the time?
Just in general, things you're going to want to include in your character's history are as follows:
- What was their family life like? How was their relationship with their family members?
- When they entered the Academy, how did they do? Were they a good student or were they a trouble-maker? Did they struggle with their studies, was their performance good overall, or did they excel in anything in particular?
- Once they finally graduated from the Academy and were put on a team, did they get along with their team? Or did they clash at first?
- Was their any particular point in which the team grew closer?
- How did they do in the Chuunin Exams? Did they pass the first time, or did they have to retake it more than once?
- If your character is higher than Chuunin level, was their anything in particular that got them promoted to a higher rank? A mission perhaps?
- What type of career does your character want to have? Do they just want to be a regular shinobi, or do they want to join the ANBU, become a medical-nin, work in the Military Police?
- Do they have any other goals?
- What about friends? Do they have any close friends that aren't on their team?
- What is their life like outside of being a shinobi? Do they have any hobbies or activities they like to participate in?
Again, please note, you don't have to answer all of those questions. They are just some ideas to get your creative juices flowing.
Since you have included your character's jutsu in the bio as well, I'm going to go over them.
Of course, your character will know the basic jutsu like Kawarimi no Jutsu and others they learned in the Academy, so you don't have to list them. They are givens.
Kage Bunshin is a BIG no! Period. No ifs, ands, or buts about it, so please, don't argue.
Your character's other jutsu, I am very, very confused about. Where did you get the names for the techniques? What exactly are they? And what do they do? For us to be able to approve them, you're going to have to explain all of them. Look at the jutsu that have already been approved for examples of how to compile explanations of your character's techniques. We'll deal with jutsu later, but for now, let's just get your biography fixed.
I hope my explanations have helped you some. Try and rewrite your bio with the guide I've given you, and then submit it to ANBU Headquarters so we can review it before you post it for final approval.
ALSO... Please make sure to put your character's village and "Pending Approval" in the title when you submit it.