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Post by Kiel on Jul 17, 2005 1:39:37 GMT -5
Certain things in Naruto, when taken into modern day (ie, realistic) consideration...kinda make you wonder a bit.
Topic at hand: Soldier Pills
It's a drug
plain and simple.
Soldier Pills allow shinobi to continue to be alert and fight for three (3) days without fatiguing. They're used predominantly by the Inazuka (Kiba) clan. They contain a compacted amount of nutrients and carbohydrates.
...or so they say.
A drug is still a drug, and one that effects one's body in such a drastic way can't be without side effects and negative reprocussions.
Seems to me that there's a whole other side to this "Soldier Pill" story that we're not hearing.
*An Adicts Anonymous meeting in progress*
Kiba: *stands* Hello, my name is Kiba.
All: hello Kiba.
Kiba: Thanks...I-I've been using soldier pills for almost...four years now. I-I think it started back when I was little...seeing the shinobi on the billboards, fighting for a consecuative three days...looking cool and getting the girls...I guess I wanted that too.
One guy: That is so true.
Kiba: Yeah, so I started using. It was great at first...I had all this energy, I didn't need to sleep or rest or bathe or anything! But, after a while...I started to notice some changes in my body...
All: *gasp*
Kiba: M-my voice started deepening...I became incredibly addicted to them...I once robbed an old lady just to buy more. Then I noticed the other changes...I couldn't sleep...I started drinking coffee...I would get all paranoid, accusing friends like Naruto or Shino that they were commie reds out to steal my spoons!
Needless to say, I needed help.
All: *Murmurs to themselves*
Kiba: But! I'm happy to say that It's been a whole week since my last pill!
All: *claps*
Kiba: *sits down*
Tsunade: *stands* Hello, my name is Tsunade and I'm addicted to dating sim games where I seduce young bishounen.
See?! Terrible!
Soldier Pills are a gateway drug for young, impressional ninjas! One day they're upstanding members of society, using a few pills to keep an edge when they're fighting off the Akatsuki. The next thing you know, they're degenerate missing nins selling babies on Ebay and stealing poor Hinata's lunch money!
She needs that money to buy elbow macaroni!!! Which she's using to build a giant macaroni shrine dedicated to Naruto...
What is the world coming to...
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Post by Nayo-Chan on Jul 17, 2005 22:15:16 GMT -5
....not healthy...  |
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Post by Kiel on Jul 17, 2005 22:51:39 GMT -5
yeah, not healthy indeed. Alright, here's another thing that might 'kinda make you wonder...': Topic at hand: Henge no jutsu Despite the hundreds of ninja techniques in existence, this one doozie of a booger of a technique could cause the most trouble. If applied to a realistic scenario, it's a mix for disaster! "Henge no Jutsu" (transformation technique) allows the user to change his appearance and look like anyone (or anything) the user wants, with the only limitation being that the user must have seen the person/thing before hand. Now, apply this little doozie to people who have greedy hearts and dirty minds Suddenly, movie and music celebrities start appearing in average locations without warning doing trivial things, Presidents and world leaders found eating fast food and demanding money from governmental banks. Being able to look like anyone is quite feat. In the wrong hands, it could lead to quite a bit of mischief. Sakura: Uweeeeehy?! I-I-I-It can't be true! Ino: sssssssssssSomebody pinch me! OUCH! Hinata, baka! Anko: No way! Box Office Smash hit actor and world's sexiest single guy Orlando Bloom is eating at Ichiraku Ramen?! Sakura: OMG! M-m-m-mr. Bloom! Can I have your autograph? Ino: Can I have your autograph too? Anko: Can I have your children?! Please! Orlando: Ladies, ladies, please...I'd be happy to help you with anything you need. You can meet me in my hotel room in 15 minutes. All: really?! Orlando: But of course, I'll see you fine ladies later. Sakura: OMG!!! *they all scream that scream that only excited teen girls can scream* Orlando: *to himself* lol! This has got to be the best idea ever! As long as I can hold this technique for as long as possible...nindo dattebayo! See? Terrible! In fact, thinking back on it...many ninja techniques taught in ninja academy have many potential perverted uses...geez...what are they thinking?! *In Ikura-sensei's class* Ikura: Okay students, settle down. Now I'm going to teach all of you pubescent teens how to change your appearance so that you can look like anyone! Even Latin sensation Ricky Martin! Afterwords, I'll show you how to stealthily break into people's homes without getting caught, as well as the art of kidnapping and abduction. Finally, we'll end the day with how to render an opponent completely helpless so that they will cater to your every whim with genjutsu. Just remember class, you shouldn't use any of these techniques to sneak into people's houses under the guise that you're Orlando Bloom to seduce them, then kidnap them and make them your slaves. That would be just wrong. All: Geez...Konoha's finest indeed >_< Okay, now it's your turn. Everybody come up with something in or about Naruto that "kinda makes you wonder". It doesn't have to be as lengthy (or disturbing><) as mine, just so long as it "kinda makes you wonder..." |
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Post by Nayo-Chan on Jul 18, 2005 20:25:08 GMT -5
This ones pretty simple and kinda stupid...but ill post anyways...Byakugan...ultimate peep tool...being able to see pretty much 360 degrees (cept the one blind spot) AND through solid matter...Neji may look cool and serious all the time but he may be looking through your clothing...even if ur behind him... |
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Post by Kiel on Jul 18, 2005 20:30:40 GMT -5
I could definetely see that.
Neji the closet peeper.
Makes perfect sense.
Tenten: Oi! Kiba, Shikamaru, Naruto! You guys are such total perverted doofuses! If you were really men, you'd be more respectable and mature like Neji-kun here!
Neji: Precisely.
*smirk*
Neji: I see London, I see France ^_~
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Post by Sorien on Jul 19, 2005 2:49:17 GMT -5
*cracks up*...*finally gains control to post something decent* Thats a crack up guys...nicely done ^_^. I mean...its just bad...henge no jutsu has dodgeyness to no end written all over it. It also kinda makes you wonder what Orochimaru COULD do...by changing bodies with...the opposite gender...*shakes head* I don't wanna think about it. Or...what Ino could do, invading the other persons body, using the jutsu I forget the name of *runs off to re-visit chunnin exams* Took me SOOOO long to find it...and with the subbing I've got, it doesn't give the proper name -_-' All I can hear is Nin-po Shinte no Jutsu...I know I spelt ninpo wrong too -_-' Meh. You get the idea. I'm tired. This is Sorien signing off for the night ^_^
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Post by Kiel on Jul 20, 2005 12:36:10 GMT -5
Glad you think it's funny Sorien,
It's pretty much my job on this forum...keep everybody either laughing their pants off, or weirding them out. ^_^
Everybody's gotta have a calling...suppose this is one of mine.
Now, back on track!
Topic at hand: Orochimaru
...um...
...the guy is just weird is all...I dunno if it "kinda makes you wonder..." at all...but he just makes my skin crawl.
But in a good way ^^
There's no denying that he's powerful...or clever. But he certainly isn't your run-of-the-mill villian, now...
I always thought it was kinda weird when he pulled his face off when fighting Sarutobi...to reveal a woman Orochimaru! 0.o
Sure he must have used her as a container...but he can retain old container's forms?!
That's just creepy...
In that case...with ol'buckethead in mind...will he retain his original, or, as we say in show biz, "Classic Orochimaru" face...or will he take Sasuke's?
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Post by Nayo-Chan on Jul 20, 2005 22:02:22 GMT -5
speaking of Ino taking people over...shikamaru's technique where he can controle people using their shadows...that can lead to some major perving....and crime as well....no finger prints but the victims...
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Post by Sorien on Jul 21, 2005 1:09:01 GMT -5
Yeah...well...I like Oh...I forget which forum Kaori showed me it in. But its this hillarious small comic bit. With like...Orochimaru "Ssssssusuke I want your body" and yeah...I won't spoil it for you, but its classic. Hmm...yeah, I found the whole face ripping a bit...out of it. Well...as for his face, I think he'd keep his own, wouldn't you? I mean...'specially since all the girls like him...Orochimaru wouldn't want all them hangin' around.
As for Kagemane no jutsu...yeah. 'nuff said. T'would be funny to see like...someone dancing using that technique though...Dancing with their partner, who is under that jutsu. "Hey...get your hands off me! What am I doing? I HATE tango" ^_^ Or like...make them line up and do the Kan-kan (Spelling...I don't have a clue)
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Post by Kiel on Jul 21, 2005 10:24:52 GMT -5
Yeah, the only problem is that Shikamaru has to do everything the person he's controling does. It's through the use of Shadows.
Now, Ino's 'Ninpo: Shintenshin', that's another story.
Who knows what devious things she might be doing in other people's bodies.
*Sakura wakes up*
Sakura: Ugh...my head...where am I? W-Who's bed is this?! Why does my mouth taste so bad?!
Orochimaru: *wearing santa hat* hey cutie! Wanna take a ride to santa's "north pole" again?
Sakura: 0.0 >.< O.< *twitch* UUUUUUYEEEEEEAGGGHHHHH!
*meanwhile*
Ino: Ugh...I feel awful...what'd I do last night...was in Sakura's body...
...did I?
...0.0 >.<
Okay...that was wrong...my apoplogies...
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Post by Sorien on Jul 21, 2005 16:24:59 GMT -5
Funny...but very grotty...*shudders* Well done Kiel  |
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Post by SeraphMazrakiel on Jul 27, 2005 21:51:14 GMT -5
Well. Technically, Maz's technique of Kagetokeru can be used for perv-poses. <Scene: Jiraiya and Maz are standing inside the main foyer of an onsen.> Jiraiya: So, you just, place your hands like this, and... it happens, right? Maz: That's the easiest way to do it, yeah. Jiraiya: Alrighty... Kagetokeru! *body turns all fog-like, and suddenly disappears into the shadow he's standing in*... wow, cool! *turns back* Maz: Hehe, well done. Suppose that's why they call you a Sannin, huh? Jiraiya: EEE-HEEE-HEE... and you say that this jutsu can only be used indoors? Maz: Not quite... it can only be used in shadows. Easier to find shadows indoors than outside, but... Jiraiya: Oh, that's okay. I only intend to use this indoors. Fufufufufu... Maz: Great. Glad to help a Sannin. Good luck chasing Orochimaru! Jiraiya: Thanks. I'll write a chapter about you in my book. Maz: ^_________^ Jiraiya: Now, I'll just test this jutsu... *stands next to the women's changing room, suddenly disappears in a shadow underneath the doorway* Maz: ...uh oh. <An hour later. At the home of one of the ladies who visited the onsen that day.> Lady: Ahhh, nothing like a good bath to finish off the day with. Time to get ready for bed. *she removes her jersey and throws it on the floor. Suddenly, a fog escapes from the collar of the top she just abandoned, forming the shape of Jiraiya* Jiraiya: If you wanted to get me on the floor, all you had to do was ask, baby... *perverted Jiraiya smile* Lady: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And no. I don't intend to use it like this. |
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Post by Sorien on Jul 28, 2005 1:03:10 GMT -5
...I'm sure this reads "Kinda makes you wonder" Not "How to use jutsu to be a perv" XD. You guys have TERRIBLE imaginations...you know what else kinda makes me wonder though...I forget the full name...but the sword...is is the Kusanagi? The sword that Orochimaru summons...wouldn't it sever his insides XD. Now...before you go. NO!...We ARE talking about jutsu used outside of Naruto...
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Post by Kiel on Jul 28, 2005 8:10:20 GMT -5
Orochimaru's sword?
Why it doesn't cut eviserate him from the inside, eh?
Well...that's a resonably sound question. The answer is simple:
Orochimaru has a stomach of STEEL! BWA HA HA HA HA!
Seriously tho, he does. Nothing can pierce him! He's like Achelies, only without the whole ankle thing. I bet he also does a lot of ab exercises in the morning to maintain a rock hard, washboard type stomach.
Orochimaru must have a big closet. He's a closet everything!
-closet pervert
-closet weightlifter
-closet plush toy fanatic
-closet dishwasher
the list goes on!
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Post by Sorien on Jul 29, 2005 1:33:24 GMT -5
Stomach of steel eh? Odd....but plausible. How...is he a closet dishwasher may I enquire into...
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